slipping through my fingers...

So, a while back, TBS played Mamma Mia on TV Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. I've seen the movie before and I liked it okay... some of the songs are so fun.

So on this particular Friday night, I turned on the TV and it was in the middle of the movie... the part where Meryl Streep's character goes to help Amanda Seyfried's character get ready for her wedding. They sing the "Slipping through my fingers" song... and it shows them fixing hair, and mom painting toenails while the daughter sits in her lap, and looking at photos laughing... just fun things.

And I sobbed. SOBBED. Not just a little tear and cry, like boo-hooed. Not sure when the last time I cried like that was, but I just couldn't stop it. I had to go out and sit by KG and get a few hugs. I was so bummed.

So, the next night, I went in our room and turned on the TV... guess what was on? In the exact same place??? So, I called KG and made him come watch it so he could see why I cried so much. He stood watching it and then at the end, turned and told me it was so sad and he was sad that he had watched it.

Now, these are completely new emotions that I was NOT prepared for. And I realized as much as I look forward to the new milestones for the girls (sitting, crawling, walking), I know one day I'll miss these baby days when I can kiss them whenever I want to. Babies are hard work. And two keeps me spinning all the time.

But I try everyday not to wish away the time. I can't imagine what life will be like when my girls are getting married... but thinking about that day makes me tear up instantly. Not because I won't be sooo happy for them, but letting them go... right now, that just seems impossible.

So, I bought the song and have it on my phone... just to listen to when I feel like I'm "wishing away" the time. To remind me how precious every minute is. To remind me how much I love these baby girls. And I cry every time.

And the words to the song...

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness

And I have to sit down for a while

The feeling that I'm losing her forever

And without really entering her world

I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter

That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I can't deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures

The places I had planned for us to go (slipping through my fingers all the time)

Well, some of that we did but most we didn't

And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

And save it from the funny tricks of time

Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

P.S. I turned on the TV that Sunday and it was again in the same place in the movie. And I watched it again.